Kink or fetish, what's yours? A fetish usually refers to the attraction to an object, including body parts, like a foot fetish. Kink is considered a sexual activity which is different from societal norms; you would be mistaken to believe that these belong to a minority of twisted people. This is only a shortlist to demonstrate popular kinks and fetishes. Do you identify with any of these?
BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism—the four pillars of kinky excitement. Let's break it down:
The BD is when a person is restrained, and the other uses discipline on the confined person. Safe-words and boundaries must always be set before play and must never be broken with BDSM; it may be considered assault.
The DS is both in the mental and physical realms of domination. This power play utilises a dominant person (who gets sexual pleasure from the domination) who inflicts their domination on the submissive person through chocking, whipping or slapping or name-calling or insulting (the list goes on, but you get the idea) to demonstrate their power over the submissive partner. The passive partner gets sexual pleasure from surrendering their autonomy.
The SM is all pain and humiliation. A sadist will draw their sexual pleasure from inflicting pain or humiliating their partner while the masochist obtains pleasure from being humiliated or accepting pain.
When one partner watches the other partner having sexual relations with another person. The watcher receives their sexual pleasure by the humiliation.
Voyeurism and Exhibitionism
Voyeurism involves getting sexual pleasure from watching other people have sex (with their consent, of course). Exhibitionism consists of the opposite by letting other people view you having sex. Group sex is one usual place when this kink comes to the fore.
The good old orgy or group sex occurs when four or more people engage in consensual sex in the same participation space—swinging or when couples exchange partners for sexual pleasure is one form of group sex. Swingers clubs or sex parties are one method for individuals or couples interested in exploring group sex to see if they feel comfortable.
Foot Fetish and Pedal Pumping
This is a popular fetish; this is when a person receives sexual gratification from anything to do with feet. From touching, kissing, licking, smelling feet or having feet in the mouth, face, on the body or squashing gentiles.
Pedal pumping is when pleasure is derived from watching a person pump a car accelerator in a masturbatory rhythm while wearing footwear to the liking or just bare feet.
Do you enjoy self-play or having sex in front of a mirror or mirrors? That's this kink.
Double Penetration and Spit Roasting
Double penetration is when two penises or objects are inserted into a vagina or the anus at the same time. Spit roasting is when oral and vaginal/anal is co-occurring.
The dominant party brings their submissive partner close to orgasm and stops before the climax. Allowing the dominant partner to control when or if the submissive partner climaxes. The dominant may even place a chastity belt on the submissive partner.
Sexual pleasure is achieved from the sight, thought, smell or taste of urination. Participants might enjoy watching their partner urinate or get off when their partner urinates on them, also called a golden shower.
The sexual attraction for an inanimate object. More commonly today this occurs with sex toys such as sex dolls and vibrators but can be for any object.
Erotic electrostimulation involves the application of mild electrical currents to areas of the body for sexual stimulation. These electrical currents are usually applied to a person's genital area - including the penis, scrotum, clitoris, and vagina - although other areas of the body may also be subject to erotic electrostimulation. For safety, it is best to use e-stim toys rather than other dangerous methods.
CBT & BNT
CBT or cock ball torture encompasses inflicting pain on a man's penis or testicles. BNT or breast nipple torture involves inflicting pain on breasts or nipples.
Fisting is the insertion of the entire fist or hand into an orifice – mouth, vagina or anus.
Role-playing is acting out a sexual fantasy with your partner or others; it can occur as a one-off or as a regular ongoing fantasy. While it can be a fetish or kink within itself, it's also a healthy way to act out other fantasies. The wonder of role-playing is that you and your partner dress up as whatever you feel like and indulge your fantasy consensually in your own home. Role-playing scenarios vary, and it's not unusual for a fetish to overlap into one or more categories.
Using melted wax for sexual pleasure. Some candles exist to burn at a temperature perfect for skin, so don't just rip out the dinner table candles unless you're prepared.
Uniform and Fabric Fetish
Like to wear or see uniforms or leather, latex, satin or lace? This is a fun fetish, and you can get caught up in the subcultures that come with them. Don't be limited to just wearing leather. Latex, satin, and lace any materials can be sexual and are commonly used in the scene.
Being kinky used to carry a stigma, but it's slowly becoming acceptable. Most of these kinks are far from becoming mainstream. Kink isn't fun for everyone, so remember it's all about regular people learning to allow their sexual desires to be fulfilled; and that bloody marvelous.
For a more extensive list of kinks, fetishes and terminology, click here.